I have realized how many friends I don't have.  I used to think I'd be ok not having friends, but then I realized I really love being around people.  Not like large groups of people, like going to Wal-mart during the day freaks me out...eesh....but I really loved being around my friends.  Like the best times I ever had was when I'd hang out with my old friends and we really would do anything.....Smoke cigs, watch reruns of South Park and That 70's Show, get all made up and take pics of each other, dress up wacky and take pics of each other, sing our hearts out.  We used to stay up all night doing nothing, and when we needed to do something important we would say we were too busy.  I MISS THAT!  I miss my guy friends that were just guy friends, and I miss my girl friends that I could tell anything to.  I miss randomly feeling the need to make cookies with my friends, and then getting the bright idea to make a penis shaped cookie......then we wondered why after that nobody wanted to eat it.  I miss singing with my friends or having my friends want me to sing for them, that is an awesome feeling.

The other night I watched Factory Girl and Edie reminded me so much of myself.  The summer after my senior year I was the girl with all the money.  My friends and I would hang out at our friend's apt and drink, smoke cigs, think up abstract ideas.  I knew it would all come to an end, but I didn't think it would ever be bad.  It ended badly and none of us talk to each other just like in Factory Girl.

I MISS MY FRIENDS SO BAD!

i know what you mean.. i've been there before... though we were smokin more than cigs.. lol....

i still feel that way sometimes.. like I don't really get to see brian and kodi as much as i use to.. use to go to their house all the time.. everyday.. and there was always a group of us hanging out all the time... i miss the good old days... but i still have them as friends now..  they all scattered.. one of them is in indiana, then i made new friends... whom also seemed to scatter... one is in new york.... different parts of texas.. all over really... sucks that i can't see them all the time.. like i use to be able to..

it's just a part of growing up i guess.. that's what i think anyways.. cause everyone's schedule gets different.. people lead their own lives.. pay their bills.. move... i think brian was even at one point of our friendship in utah... shit happens.. it sucks.. but there it is.. bleh

yehp.