I started making a dream log about two months ago.I've been getting better at waking up,remebering and writing down everything as clearly as i can.It's intresting to look back on my entries and see how true some of the translations can be in the end.(If you can read them right)I've started attempting to predict my week in small doses.Preparing myself for any big suggestions of fate that i can.Written here for whoever's intrested. Some of it is really weird.I list some background of what was goin on in my life at the time of that particular dream.It makes sense in a funny house mirrorsort of way...
I'm going to do my best to describe it all well.Enjoy.


Background:"Dating" a drug dealer.Party drug of choice every night:coke.And an aquired taste to Corona Lites with lime.3/4ths of a pack of cigarettes every night.making myself sick with anything i could get my hands on. Fuck it.
03/27/07
I dreamt some version of heaven.
Not how you would think heaven should be. With the white clouds, gaps of sunshine and angels.It was an internal heaven.Me living in a state of the most supreme kind of content.
I was an actress. And the Wild was my star.I have never seen the wild look so beautiful.Not sick.Not restless and clumsy.So accentuated and glowing beyond her boundaries of personality.She seemed so at home.So in love with me.We began at a huge high rise building in Florida. Palm trees outside and huge windows that are open to reveal the most perfect combination of sunshine and wind.My family is everywhere. In the multitudes.My mom and my dad's side all scattered everywhere in the apartment.Shoes,clothes everywhere. Everything in this moment is happy and bright.There is talking.And the sound of so many conversations going across the room is collectively beautiful. Like a lullaby that you never want to get interrupted.It looks like this is preperation for a wedding but i am having trouble figuring out who is the bride. I am wearing white but it's a cocktail linen dress.And my heart has no allegiances. No pull for anyone other then the people that are there.There was littlegirl toys.Dotting the corners of the rooms like pink exclimation marks.Who's babygirl? Who's wedding?
Then we were all at some form of a hotel lobby. Massive,amazing.
Marble everything. A dark green color like a peacock feather.There is this grand staircase and a bar/reaturant in the far back of the entrance way. The smell of somethings delicious on the air conditioning.I walk up the stairs.My family is seated.So many people i have never seen before too. All together in one place.I am dizzy with happyness. I feel drunk off bubbles and apple juice.No baggage. Just lots of white.
My grandma Shirley arrives. She looks radient. A vision clicked back inside my memory to what her inner time clocks will always look like to me.She is wearing big sunglasses with peach lenses.Very Jacklyn Kennedy.
She sits down next to me at this high top counter.The room itself is a balcony overlooking a grand theatre dome. We are looking staright ahead at a massive backdrop. The kind that teachers use to reflect overhead slides off of from a projector.
A movie perhaps? Something important.
A film crew comes up to me. They are speaking to me but i am silent. The wild is manuvering my lips. I am a shell that she is in control of. I am resting. I am tired of fighting for everyday.They ask me to film a scene in the bathroom with her.
I sit down on the toilet and put on lipstick while i pee. The wild is standing in front of me and the film crew is gone but i feel their presence while we talk.She is asking me if she can borrow my suitcases for a trip.
I laugh and feel so strangely comfortable when i say, "sure,dissappear."

Background:Taking anap."dating"Jacob.Talking to Zach and thinking about Brian.I had a very almost car accident with a Mexican driving a truck trying to exit from 3 lanes over the night before. I also had a donut on my back tire from running over a nail.
03/03/07 I was at a park. It resembled Joe pool lake but in conciousness i do not remember ever being to that particular place.There were median in the road that stretched horizontally to get from the right side of the road to the left.I was driving too fast and trying to get over. I caught the fourth turn on my left and swung the car around.I am looking ahead at a sign that is coming up at the end of the curve i'm taking and i do not see the blocked off section of the road. Orange cones and a giant rectangle chunk that is simply missing form the foundation of the street itself.Wide and long. The entire circumfrance of the hole is lined with these massive steel bars. Thick and threatning.I could see people underneath the road working on the hole with torchguns. I'm driving and then all of a sudden i'm falling out of the car through the window and the car is like a piece of glass that shattered at the top.side frame,wheels engine,glass.A giant Oldsmobile bomb that is disconnected and falling like rain all around me. I am dreaming my version of hell. Everything is dimly lit. The only light coming in is from the cracks in the pavement above us. There are mechanic/construction workers walking around. No one has faces. They are all bodies with grayish blue blurs where their faces should be. The scenery is all grey.If asphalt rocks could be ground up into sand to make dust that looks the color of cigarette ashes. Dead snowflakes.It was everywhere. Covering everything.There are abandoned car parts underneath the sand. It resembles a salvage yard that was trying to be covered up poorly.
I am sitting on this heap of sand dust.Crying so hard. On everything. I go to stand up and i am asking the mechanic men if they can help me put my car back together. Stuttering over words. Nobody is listening to me. I have asked almost twenty men to help me now and they all are passing by me like i'm not anything that they can see.There is one man that looks like he hears me but does not acknowledge my words. He starts helping me pick up car pieces and put them all back into a pile, but he moves very cautiously. And fast. Like he is scared that anyone else will see him. The air is thick and hot. There is a voice that comes on over this loudspeaker.It sounds ugly. Like barks pushed into language somehow. And all of a sudden everyone is running in the opposite direction.There are these strange compartment apartments. Tiny weak looking structures that are cramped together somehow. It look as though the ghetto has been blown up and rebuilt. There are people standing outside and i want to look over while i am running past them but some deeper instinct inside of me tells me not to for reasons i cannot give you. The ceiling is at the highest points of it about sixand a half feet.I am following the shadow guy that tried to help me with my car. He turns to our left and the entire space opens up into this giant white auditorium dome.Dr.Suess is preforming for a sea of kids seated indian style in front of the stage. It was breath taking. Seriously. There's all these big colorful creatures onstage acting out the narraration to Oh the places you'll go!  
On my left there is this creepy looking man sitting in a rocking chair advertising boxed liqour specials.i sit down in front of him because my dream guide is already seated in the circle.He is seated in front of me and when he looks back he smiles and i see his face. I do not recognize him.
i wake up.

I'll post more tommorow,depending on if anybody gives a damn about these.
Bye for now

I give a damn. I read with care. Trying to keep my pace slow as my heart beats faster and faster.

Intence and vivid as your dreams always seem to be.    

--Last edited by MeCh on 2007-04-06 16:25:47 --

Background:I met this girl at Waffle House.Her name is Shea.She has been training me for the duration of my two week orientation to become a waitress. I really like her.She has such a strong sense of self and an even stronger magnetitism,regardless of the tired smile she likes to wear.I love it when she smiles with her teeth.My car still has a donut on it and i have been stressin due to the fact that i do not know how to change a tire.
I don't have a date.
There is a lake below me. Very wide and dark blue. With rocks showing their heads every once and a while. I am driving on a ramp that has been built above the water.I am going too fast as usual.There is a moment where everything goes slower but happens quickly also. There is a piece in the road where it turns into a cutoff. Like the edge of a hill that you don't know you are coming up on until you are falling. I see the connector piece of road ahead of me but there is no time to rethink my options because i am falling horizontally.I am out of my car somehow and land before it.I am sitting on a rock,much like a siren watching my car fall in front of me.The water swallows it and i sit on the rock crying. There is a girl that approaches me. I do not recognize her in the dream.She scoops me up much like a mommy approaching a kid with a tummyache and puts me on my feet away from the water. She hands me a pink key and says that her dad owns a dealership.She went to see the car he picked out for her earlier that morning and did'nt like it. She wanted me to know nothing more about the car except1.It was pink and 2.we were family so it was perfectly okay for me to take such a big offer  I follow her around.She has a friend with her.A younger looking girl that only really opens her mouth to pop a blue bubble.She goes on to explain to me how we are related and that she has been looking for me or a very long time and that she is so happy to find me. In my dream i am debating her stories as she says them.Adding up times and accuracy of events.It could very well be the Wild looking for a bigger home.She tells me all of this on a playground.I have been there before. Monkeybars.I never actually make it to the dealership to get the car but we are on our way there when i wake up.  

--Last edited by Junebug on 2007-04-09 17:03:27 --

No date.
No background that i can remember.

There is a babygirl.She is mixed.Her skin is this perfect brown color.And dark black hair that reflects this algea colored red in it when she twirls a certain way.mmm the Wild is in her too.She is wearing a sundress and dancing around with a little brown rabbit. The rabbit is long and for eyes there are two blue buttons instead. Sewed on with purple thread haphazardly.
She is breathtaking.
I feel as though she is mine but there is somethingmore to it then that.An extra feeling besides pride that comes from looking at her.I am thinking about getting a brown cloth rabbit somewhere on my body as a tattoo.  

--Last edited by Junebug on 2007-04-09 15:56:57 --

wow. I want to read more. hmm.

I have been so sick for the past two days.All this partying hard has finally caught up with me.I knew it would happen sometime.I just did'nt think my body would be in this bad of shape when it did come around...I have stayed in bed for the majority of yesturday and today and i have been dreaming nonstop.I am having a hard time remembering everything though because of all the medicane i've been taking in an attempt to get better.
*sigh*I'm working five o clock to midnight(?)tommorow.Hopefully i'll be a little better by then.It's taking a lot for me not to call my mom crying*smile*
Being sick reminds me of how human i am.
It's a good spankin.
Books and Chest,cough,and cold medicane if you're a good girl.
Millie  

--Last edited by Junebug on 2007-04-09 17:14:32 --

i don't like that smiley face you used up there.He's kinda ugly.His eye keeps getting bigger. He reminds me of a pimple.*growl*

Your opening page looks good.I like it.Pretty little welcome mat.
Rock on.

04/10/07
Background: Sick as hell,work tommorow and the only incintive out of bed is KFC mashed potatoes,the toilet,and you guys.
I started out in a hotel shower with me,my mom and her mom.I've never met my grandma before so this part is a little off.
We're all just standing around, getting clean, when there's these Nazi yells outside the shower curtain.
Then the shower somehow rearranged itself so that the curtain is facing the hotel hallway.And you could just pull back the curtain
I'll finish this later,I gotta go.